BEEN DATELESS FOR THREE WEEKS IN A ROW

THE PRESSURE’S BUILDING, SOMETHING’S GONNA BLOW.

THERE’S ONLY ONE PLACE WHERE I CAN TURN,

I KNOW IN HELL I’M GONNA BURN

BUT WHY DOESN’T ANYBODY UNDERSTAND

THAT I’M IN LOVE WITH MY HAND.

DID IT CONSTANTLY AS A KID

I THOUGHT I MIGHT GO BLIND FROM WHAT I DID.

MY PARENTS WERE NOT OVERJOYED

WHEN I SHOOK HANDS WITH THE UNEMPLOYED.

BUT WHY DOESN’T ANYBODY UNDERSTAND

THAT I’M IN LOVE WITH MY HAND.

EVERYBODY SAID THAT I WAS SICK

COMIN’ UP WITH THE SHORT END OF THE STICK.

YOU KNOW THEY NEVER HAD ANY QUALMS

MAKIN’ THEIR OWN HAIRY PALMS

SO WHY DOESN’T ANYBODY UNDERSTAND

THAT I’M IN LOVE WITH MY HAND?